From Do-er to Leader
By Dr Sarah A Morris
For every leader I meet, I know that at some point, in order to become a leader, he or she has had to pass through a personal rite of passage, an alchemical moment in which, metaphorically speaking, the butterfly emerges triumphant from the chrysalis. I am talking here about the transformation from what I call a 'do-er' to a leader. However, a successful transformation for the 'would be' leader is far from a foregone conclusion. In my coaching practice, I have worked with many folk who hold the title of 'leader' and yet their behaviours remain far from those that one might describe as true leadership.
This article describes the most common reasons why managers stall in this transformative process; how to recognise if there is an underlying 'do-er' in you that is holding you back from achieving your true leadership potential and, finally, steps you may take to make the final transformation to leader.
Stuck in a Rut?
The birthing of a leader is a tricky time for many. After all, for the vast majority of us, our formative years in work are spent at the front-line getting things done. Delivery of 'things', products and services is how we are measured and how we define success. For many being a 'do-er' is how we define ourselves. Yet the task of leadership requires a completely different way of being.
If we consider for a moment a workable definition of leadership, we might say that the task of a leader is to harness the energy of individuals and direct it towards achieving a common goal. This is a completely different proposition to being seen to deliver 'things' ourselves. In order to succeed as a leader, we need to be able to step back from the front line, think more broadly and engage others to give willingly of themselves, even sacrificing personal agendas, for the common good.
A couple of types of aspiring leader have a particularly difficult time with this process of transformation.
The first of these is 'the control freak'.
'Control-freakery' is a common set of behaviours in the executive world and has a number of underlying causes.
The most common reasons that show up in the coaching relationship are:
- The belief that we, and only we, can do the best job - that our way is undoubtedly the right way! Amongst this merry band are the 'perfectionists' who find others' standards unable to meet their own exacting ones. This often creates incredible tension for the perfectionist who finds meddling irresistible!
- Fear of failure - when we let go and allow others to find their own feet, we must be prepared that they will make mistakes - they need to do so in order to learn. For aspiring leaders who have a strong fear of failure, the thought that another's failure may be associated with them can be too much to bear. The over-riding temptation becomes the desire to step in and take over. More on this below.
- Lack of trust in relationships. Clearly, if we do not trust those to whom we delegate, then letting go becomes so much more difficult. Trust is at the heart of all effective working relationships and if this does not exist, achieving anything of real substance will become nigh on impossible.
The second type, is the 'leader' whose sense of self-identity is embodied in the act of 'doing' and being seen to deliver. Maintaining our sense of identity is a strong driver in terms of the way in which we behave. For example, if I see myself as a 'carer', then my values, beliefs and behaviours will be aligned around this core self concept. So, for people who see themselves as 'do-ers', or problem solvers, or 'deliverers', the stepping back from front-line, hands on delivery - where a product or service is created directly as a result of their actions - can seem to represent a loss of purpose. A vacuum is created in which the aspiring leader questions their ability to add value. Sometimes, if self confidence is low, the need to be seen to deliver is paramount as this then proves worthiness.
How to recognise if it is you who is 'stuck in the rut'
So, how do you know if you are stuck in the rut and not fully stepping into a leadership role and fulfilling your potential? Perhaps you have recognised yourself already? As awareness is always the first step to change, look out for the following beliefs and behaviours which are often indicators of a compulsive 'do-er':
- You believe that there is no better way to do things than your way.
- You believe that everybody else's standards are far inferior to yours - therefore only you are capable of doing it well.
- You give people tasks then constantly meddle or interfere in their execution.
- Your predominant style is 'pace-setting' or 'command and control'. You rarely use coaching as a style to achieve results.
- People often come to you for solutions. (This is a sign that you step in to 'save the day' too often. Your people have developed a dependence on you, or fear making their own decisions and mistakes).
- You fear failure, making mistakes and being judged harshly by others. (Whilst many of us experience this to some degree, when your main concern becomes what others think of you, you will become stifled and paralysed as a leader).
- You are constantly overwhelmed with the volume of work.
Undoubtedly, this list is not exhaustive but it does represent the common 'symptoms' that present in a coaching relationship of an aspiring leader who is being sabotaged by the inner 'do-er'.
Beyond 'Doing': The Threshold of True Leadership
Often the underlying issues that compel a person to occupy the role of 'do-er' are deep and complex and will benefit from professional coaching intervention. However, the following points will help you take the first steps to stepping into a more authentic leadership position:
- Firstly, check out with yourself that you do really want to lead. The task of leadership is a complex and demanding one. Take time to revisit your definition of leadership and understand your motives for wanting to lead.
- Embrace a new mind-set. Your task is no longer to deliver the product and service but to create the right environment where others can deliver successfully.
- Try to identify your 'type'. Are you a control-freak, a perfectionist, do you identify strongly with 'doing' as a way of getting recognition from others? At least become aware of your blind spots. When we shine a light then the darkness disappears. We can begin to work with subconscious patterns more easily once they have become conscious.
- If you are unsure of the impact of your leadership (or your 'doing'), arrange for feedback. A 360 degree review is very helpful here. It will ensure that you are not seducing yourself into believing that all is well.
- For 'control freaks', clear contracting at the outset of a task using a transparent framework for delegation can be very helpful in ensuring that both sides understand and agree what is expected. Full discussion of such a framework is beyond the scope of this article, but I often use 'The Delegation Tree' found in Susan Scott's 'Fierce Conversations' 1 with clients as a means of developing confidence in delegating. The other key point here is in holding people to account if they don't deliver. This is often about avoidance of conflict and is a topic beyond the scope of this present article.
- Stop interfering! If you have developed trust and defined deliverables and milestones, then let your people get on whilst entertaining the possibility that perhaps somebody else has a better way of doing it than you.
- Develop a coaching style as part of your leadership repertoire. Goleman's work on Emotional Intelligence 2 cites this and 'Affiliative' styles as the predominant leadership styles, to be used for about 80% of the time in leading others and getting things done.
The transformation from 'do-er' to leader is often beset with obstacles. However, with the 'right' motivations to lead, commitment and a willingness to examine one's own limiting patterns, I have seen hugely rewarding transformations take place. The leader is called to dissolve old, outdated beliefs and behaviours and step into a more expanded state of being. This often brings with it greater confidence, self awareness and understanding of the true dynamics of leadership. This is, after all, what the leader's task is; in meeting the needs of their followers to enable their success and not the other way round.
